Remember? (AkuRuku)
by Alexanderia Aimer
Summary: It's about Axel taking the readers through he and Roxas's relationship starting from beginning to end, the beginning starting from after their relationship going back to their first mission together. So Typically this is my first fanfic, so give me a break, I know it starts slow and sad, but it does get better. :)


P.O.V - #8 Flurry of dancing flames, Axel

Everything was as always, everything and nothing at all was to ever change, especially facts that Just couldn't be changed, like for instances that nobodies could never hope to be somebodies; that nobodies had no heart of theirs to claim. Only memories that were distant, far, and in a sense weren't even of their own. Was it hard for any nobody to except a fate so cruel? Well,were nobodies ever suppose to feel? Were we to know? And really so many questions remain without answer to my questions. But yet so many questions yet asked. We who live as no one, could still remember being someone? Could that be possible being no one? It was. Still no one's heart may stop beating, we exist to be inside that someone as a part of who they are deep in their own hearts but with only one heart to share could I someone looking so real, feeling so alive, really be just what was a slumbering part of someone else, with no opinion of heart, with a hole other personality really be this small? These question are eccentric in my mind, and run a wild race furry through my mind, my veins, my burning heart. These were not questions frequently ask, simply just something to question over time. These questions all came to live before me when I meet a person of unreality, a person, I assumed could exist but one I never would have mistaken for stealing my heart. No one I thought could make question if I truly had a heart, someone who made me feel like I, myself had truly undeniable feelings, deep and important. His importance in my life was unmistakably the utmost important, and truly admirable thing that had ever happened to me. I changed me forever, he was a part of me, of whatever heart I'd had, but in the end his heart was rewarded to it's own, and he got what he'd always wanted, answers, and peace. Peace of heart and mind, but my heart was forever ruptured my heart, and a wound so inescapable even my somebody remembered what love he and I had shared with this blonde boy, this blue-eyed , blonde kid we'd never forget. He filled me with life, and remembrance, the importance of a memory, of a friend, a good friend, my best friend, Roxas. Sora's nobody, my lover, my friend. For such a short time yes, but forever in my memory, in something I'd have never seen the importance to till later on. It had all started sometime back, what feels like forever a go, when he'd come into the organization, a place, where I was truly lost, where he was lost, where we were lost, and where I'd come to find myself because of him, and where he had just started. The beginning for both of us. To remember it all now comes sadness, and joy, all of these wonderfully great and sad memories I owe to him, these bittersweet memories I know I'll never forget.

Chapter 1

In the end

P.O.V. - Axel

Wearing my organization gear, black gloves, long black coat, with a zipper as long as the coat, zipped to the top, my boots. The boots I causally watched keep moving before me, keeping me going in whatever direction was intened. The crunching of the snow below me, a sound echoing in a far away place. Listening to it as I walked. I couldn't help but to think of Roxas. I shoke my head trying to rid myself of the to painful memories, it was to soon. To soon to think about him, those faint echo's of his voice in my mind, the feel of his skin under my touch, the pout of his lip, the glow of his radiant eyes. No, no. I scolded myself, thinking if only I could be with him, one more time, just one more. All the things I would tell him this time, the things I wouldn't have held back on. I should've told him, the answers to his questions, but I in my own way was being a cowarded because I didn't want to be the one who hurt him. If I had told him though, even though the truth hurts, maybe he would've stayed. Had I gone after him, maybe he would've stayed. All the what if's and I couldn't have been the one to save him, to tell him the truth. What he wanted more than my love, my affection. He wanted his truth, no matter the pain, or the consquences, he just wanted to know. He wanted to know with a passion that could've killed him, and in it's own way sorta did. I made it back to the organization, to a place that felt so empty know, but the only place I could go to, to rest.  
I went staright to my room passing up Luxord and his cards, Demyx and his sitar, and Saix just observing the going-on's in the organization. I flopped down on my bed, and my mind went straight to filling my head with empty thoughts, careless words, and more painful memories. No nobody should ever feel this, this ahce, dull and dead, killing even. I had to let him go, but laying here like this reminds me of a time I'd never thought of the future of the good bye to come later on. I had decvided myself to believing some of the most foolish things, and for Roxas nothing had made any sense to him, and I had been the one to with hold the answers that could have changed him forevermore. He'd been fighting to find a meaning for our love, to find meaning to everything he did, he'd wanted to know why? Why? It was a constint question in the world of our lost souls wishing and wanting to be something more. Our love was like something more than a rose, sharp, soft, beautiful, but like everything in life soon died. In her short prime time she had bloomed to beauty, and I'd lost my best friend, I'd lost everything I'd had, and for what? For an orgnaization that betray my friend, that I thought was only best for him. Decviced by others words, and harsh belifes I'd become someone I couldn't recognize trying to find my way back to myself, but I'd lost something in return, something very valuble, close to my heart, my non exsisting heart and it's pain. Now I suffer deeply, I can still remember the smell of his skin, a dull cologne usually mask with other smells of where ever we had gone that day. I lifted my hands to see empty spaces between them, but remembering how soft his hair felt between my fingers, how delicate he seemed, but yet so strong in a body so small, i'd seen. I'd seen everything in him reflecting me, and I'd found myself broken in the end when I had no eyes to look into to see myself staring back at me, when i'd had no one to tell to get a grip, to tell me they cared about me. We use to laugh about the silliest things. I still remember how we'd sit up on the clock tower of Twlight Town and watch the sunset, briming with red, orange, and yellow, fading to a dull color, wisping colors of pink and purple in the sky. I lay here in my bed thinking of those times, and the pain they bring, until I reach over and reach into my end table pulling out a popsicle stick that reads winner, looking at it as if it holds on the answers.

I place it carefully back in my end table, closing it. I lay my head down for rest hoping that I'll dream of him, and that when I wake it will be easier than today to face this world. Hoping that the memories begin to fade like picture left in the sun, maybe they won't be as clear, and when I look back at them I'll take glances like a child who knows they shouldn't be looking, and when I do I won't have to stare as long, that that will be enough, and than they will stay somwhere deep within my mind, resting. One day I will be as Roxas is to me a distant memory, and none of this will matter no longer. One day, and that day I may rest in a endless sleep.

Chapter 2

Back to the beginging

P.O.V. -Axel

I didn't feel like taking you all the way back to the begining, so, I'll take you to where it really begins to mean something, and where time begins for me and my end is just nearly my new begining beckoning to me with a hands of a stranger I take to lead the way. The day Roxas and I had our first mission together.

"So where would you like to start, Axel?" He kept walking in a clam pace but I'd seen him earlier a little focused on our newest member, Xion. A clone of Roxas, but I wasn't to tell him. "Eh, I don't know, how's Twlight Town?" He considered, "Sure, fine i guess." So we went off. TO BE CONTINUED...


End file.
